Women Building Better....Bars?

Just to continue the harassment from you belles and beaus on why I haven't posted pictures of the new apartment yet, I will make a new and unrelated post in light of Veteran's Day and the act of service.

In 2010 I joined the Junior League of Charleston. It was a leap of faith, knowing I was in my final and most important year of graduate school and was already leading an after school club for some of Charleston's most at-risk students. Raised in a family where volunteering and serving others were encouraged, I felt this was a venture I had to partake in, regardless of how busy or how little time I felt I had to spare. Looking back, I don't regret a day of it. I busted my rump fulfilling service hour obligations and was involved in some of the most rewarding charities I have experienced.

When I moved to the City in July 2011, continuing my membership in Junior League wasn't a question. I looked forward to playing a hand in service opportunities here and working alongside other women who value their commitments the same as I do. How mistaken I was, and how devastated I am.

I transfered to NYJL from Charleston, which meant that my dues transferred with me. I recently received an email saying that I had not paid my dues, and if I did not pay them, my name would be added to the "naughty list" and posted in the women's coatroom at Headquarters. I was surprised by this, and double-checked to make sure my payments in Charleston had transferred. They had, but unfortunately for me, the dues in Charleston are $160 annually and in the City are $480. Woah! $480?

Ok...."don't flip out!" I tell myself, just find out why the dues are astronomical. I called Accounting and implored the women to break it down for me. "Well, I know the dues are high, but unlike Charleston, we have a house on the Upper East Side to maintain. The dues go to the maintenance of the house, specifically the restaurant and bar. As you know, this is a treat for you all, and this is why your dues are high," says the woman on the other line. Hmmm....the tagline for the League is "Women building better communities." Since when did a restaurant or a bar benefit the underprivileged, the homeless, the hungry?

I spent a week pondering over this, sending emails to my friends in the League. What am I doing? Does this go against my morals? Is this how I can best serve my community? I began looking back through the weekly newsletters, wondering if I could justify being a part of an organization that does so much good across the country. What I realized is that, while I know the organization as a whole lives up to its word, I'm just not sure NY does what it says it will do.

Our newsletter typically contain 15 announcements, and roughly three to five are designated to community service projects. The rest are announcements informing you of bridge classes, etiquette classes or knitting classes (oh, and none are free). Hello, this is 2011, not the early 1900s! Is this really what you value? Teaching women how to be polite, while playing bridge? What a travesty to women everywhere to continue this outdated, hegemonic and gender-biased portrayal of the role of women in today's society.

Despite my disappointment, I opted to request a 2-year leave of absence, thinking that if I transferred to a different city, my experience in that Junior League chapter would be different (after all, Charleston was, and my sister who serves in Raleigh takes pride in her League and the work they do). I put in my request and chose to leave blank the portion asking why I was leaving the League- my thoughts in doing so were that maybe someone might call and I could talk this through with them. Instead, I received an automated message saying my request was approved, but I needed to pay my dues, never once asking if I was okay. The receiver of my request still doesn't know why I left, whether I was ill or some tragedy had occurred, and quite frankly, it doesn't seem like they care.

Maybe the concept of Junior League didn't resonate well in the Northeast, or maybe they really think The Help is an accurate portrayal of what the League is today. Regardless, here's my message to NYJL:

Don't hold your breath for that money. In the words of Abeline "I is kind. I is beautiful. I is important." And on that note, I'll take that $480 and will build a better community with it....on my own.

Well, Yeah I'm Gonna Do It

It has taken me a little longer to post than originally planned...as I've been packing my apartment in preparation to move tomorrow (which will be next week's post)! But, this past weekend was an awesome and special one for me, so there's no way I'm skipping the post!

Thursday my sister, a childhood friend and a new friend all came to visit me in the City (for this post I will refer to them as Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte...I'm Carrie, of course). While there was no Sex and the City, there was a whole lot of City and Grits!

We began the weekend off right with a viewing party for Samantha's debut on the Dr. Oz Show and a few glasses of wine we had delivered....now maybe SATC believes me when I say, "EVERYTHING is delivery in the City!" Samantha was amazing on Dr. Oz, but most importantly, she gave us the quote of the weekend: "Well, yeah I'm gonna do it!" That night we ate at Schiller's Liquor Bar...and I'll just say now that we didn't have one bad meal all weekend, so any of these suggestions are MUST EATS! Following dinner we went to Pravda, which is a martini bar in Soho. You can only find this bar by locating the miniature lit sign above a staircase, as the bar is underground and strongly resembles the catacombs Edgar Allan Poe once wrote about. Pravda was very chic, but if you want to keep it classy like the theme, don't order a dirty martini....no dirt + all liquor = no chic.

Friday we went to eat at Le Pain Quotidien for a late breakfast (trip one of two), a local chain restaurant, but so AMAZE! The venue alone is very French, complete with cutting board tables, arranged in a family-style setting. After our rendezvous with Paris, I went to work (as a writer, of course) and Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte hit up all that the City shops have to offer.

That evening we went to the 9/11 Memorial, luckily able to reserve tickets the previous week. The original reservation time was 6:00, but it took nearly 30 minutes to get through the lines and security. I'm not complaining though because A) you MUST go to the Memorial and B) you MUST go after dark. We all saw the video footage of the Memorial on the 10-year anniversary, but video (and the inserted pictures) simply do NOT do it justice. The words engraved on the outer portion of the pools had lights behind them, allowing visibility even at night. Even the first Freedom Tower, which I've seen 100 times now, lights up with red, white and blue lights, which I would've never known unless visiting at night. Take note of the picture on the right. Samantha says dots like this are said to represent spirits...what do you think?



After dinner we went to Adrienne's Pizza Bar, which I referenced in one of my first City and Grits posts. It was the first time SATC got to meet my new roommate, and what a good laugh we had! M is always center of attention, and his stories of private school, professional college-finders and police run-ins were just what we needed after a somber experience.

Saturday was the day where we did serious damage-- to our bank accounts and feet. We began the day with brunch at Pastis, a local hot spot where celebrity-spottings are common. We didn't run into a celeb there...but, wait for it! After brunch (which was very tasty, but slightly over-priced) we walked the High Line. Now, the HL is the best metaphor for rugged urbanity. Originally a train track, the HL weaves between buildings above ground for roughly one mile, and it is overgrown with weeds, bushes and random patches of grass. The HL is likely famous for its direct view of The Standard Hotel (and shameless visitors undressing in front of the windows), but is an experience that makes you feel like you are part of a forgotten world of the future.

Following our blast into 2030 we shopped all around the Tribeca (my soon-to-be neighborhood) and Soho areas. Since moving here, I'll admit it, I ALWAYS keep my eyes peeled for celebrities (sure, you can call me a star-chaser). Observation pays off because wouldn't you know...I spotted former Dawson's Creek heart throb and Joey stalker, James Van Der Beek! The good host I am, I took one for the team and approached him to ask for a photo with one of my childhood crushes. Miranda and Charlotte currently live in Wilmington, home of Dawson's Creek, and it made a nice topic of conversation...buying us a solid five minutes with JVDB. For my first celebrity encounter I was more than surprised....what a NICE guy!! Maybe fame doesn't freeze your heart afterall?

Saturday evening we attended a Broadway show called Fuerza Bruta. It wasn't your typical show...in other words, I imagine it's similar to what drug addicts experience daily. The audience stood for the 60-minute show, with most all of the act taking place above your head. The performance was complete with a light show, DJ who wore a George Washington wig and sprayed the crowd with a water hose, and best of all....a floating pool! Yes, this is real life. The pool was unreal! It literally appeared out of nowhere and lowered all the way to the audience so that we could lift our arm and touch it. Inside the pool were girls swimming and dancing and being blown from one side to the other from fans pointing into the water. Girls even came from the ceiling at one point, attached by harnesses, and ran in circles after one another on the four walls. I hope these pictures may give you some perspective of the show, and if not, know that the show was the most bizarre and most awesomely amazing experience of my life.

There's no way to come down from an experience like that than to end the night with some pastrami. SATC ventured to Katz's Deli, one of my favorite local spots. We had traditional pastrami sandwiches on rye bread with a side of pickles...as my Jewish friends say, "real Jew food." If you've never heard of Katz's, you've certainly seen it. Meg Ryan's famous scene from When Harry Met Sally was filmed here, and a sign above the table reads "Where Harry met Sally...hope you have what she had."

We didn't have what Sally had, but we did bring the grits to the City...and what a delicious weekend it was!

Free Arts NYC

Like every other Southern belle, I am an active member in the Junior League. Now, most people like to refer to this as an adult sorority, and while you may not be too far from the truth, the League also does a number of great things in surrounding communities.

I joined the League in Charleston, and I recently transferred to the NYJL (yes, there really is one here). As an active member, I am required to volunteer a designated number of hours per year with one of our sponsored organizations. This past week, I chose to spend a day with an organization called Free Arts NYC. I was instantly attracted to this organization because it mirrors one that I organized last year as a graduate student.

Free Arts NYC gathers underprivileged children from schools and homeless shelters to participate in art every other Saturday. Each child is paired with one volunteer to ensure they receive the most attention possible during their time at the event. Over a five-hour period, volunteers create arts and crafts with their buddy, followed by lunch and a performance from a local dance or theater group.

I was paired with a 10-year-old girl, who I will call T. She lives with her mother and two older brothers, and she goes to school from 7:00 a.m.-9:00 p.m. each day because her mom works two jobs to support her and her siblings. She eats three meals at her school, and the majority of her waking hours are at school.

Coming from a hometown with a high poverty level, I am not surprised that these conditions exist, but what is surprising is how normal she thought her conditions were, as though this is how most children live their lives. Organizations like this re-ground you, making you realize what is "normal"....essentially something different to everyone. Organizations like this reaffirm just how lucky we each are to have grown up in a home where we ate nearly every meal with our family and spent quality time with our parents.

Last year, I ran an after school program once a week with friends where our focus was similar to Free Arts NYC. Most people think that as schools lose their budgets, they lose physical education classes, but in reality, art and music classes are the first to go. Growing up, I learned through my art classes that I was a strong creative writer. Had I not had these classes and been told this by my teachers, I wouldn't be where I am today. Every child deserves the opportunity to discover what they are good at, and often this comes through creative art forms, such as painting, drawing, writing, music, etc.

For the few short hours I spent with the kids, I had the chance to give the attention to T that she deserves, and hopefully I helped her to realize her strengths. If you are looking for an organization to volunteer with, I highly recommend Free Ats NYC. If I can't change the world permanently, I can hopefully change the world for a few hours.