Friday, November 11, 2011

Women Building Better....Bars?

Just to continue the harassment from you belles and beaus on why I haven't posted pictures of the new apartment yet, I will make a new and unrelated post in light of Veteran's Day and the act of service.

In 2010 I joined the Junior League of Charleston. It was a leap of faith, knowing I was in my final and most important year of graduate school and was already leading an after school club for some of Charleston's most at-risk students. Raised in a family where volunteering and serving others were encouraged, I felt this was a venture I had to partake in, regardless of how busy or how little time I felt I had to spare. Looking back, I don't regret a day of it. I busted my rump fulfilling service hour obligations and was involved in some of the most rewarding charities I have experienced.

When I moved to the City in July 2011, continuing my membership in Junior League wasn't a question. I looked forward to playing a hand in service opportunities here and working alongside other women who value their commitments the same as I do. How mistaken I was, and how devastated I am.

I transfered to NYJL from Charleston, which meant that my dues transferred with me. I recently received an email saying that I had not paid my dues, and if I did not pay them, my name would be added to the "naughty list" and posted in the women's coatroom at Headquarters. I was surprised by this, and double-checked to make sure my payments in Charleston had transferred. They had, but unfortunately for me, the dues in Charleston are $160 annually and in the City are $480. Woah! $480?

Ok...."don't flip out!" I tell myself, just find out why the dues are astronomical. I called Accounting and implored the women to break it down for me. "Well, I know the dues are high, but unlike Charleston, we have a house on the Upper East Side to maintain. The dues go to the maintenance of the house, specifically the restaurant and bar. As you know, this is a treat for you all, and this is why your dues are high," says the woman on the other line. Hmmm....the tagline for the League is "Women building better communities." Since when did a restaurant or a bar benefit the underprivileged, the homeless, the hungry?

I spent a week pondering over this, sending emails to my friends in the League. What am I doing? Does this go against my morals? Is this how I can best serve my community? I began looking back through the weekly newsletters, wondering if I could justify being a part of an organization that does so much good across the country. What I realized is that, while I know the organization as a whole lives up to its word, I'm just not sure NY does what it says it will do.

Our newsletter typically contain 15 announcements, and roughly three to five are designated to community service projects. The rest are announcements informing you of bridge classes, etiquette classes or knitting classes (oh, and none are free). Hello, this is 2011, not the early 1900s! Is this really what you value? Teaching women how to be polite, while playing bridge? What a travesty to women everywhere to continue this outdated, hegemonic and gender-biased portrayal of the role of women in today's society.

Despite my disappointment, I opted to request a 2-year leave of absence, thinking that if I transferred to a different city, my experience in that Junior League chapter would be different (after all, Charleston was, and my sister who serves in Raleigh takes pride in her League and the work they do). I put in my request and chose to leave blank the portion asking why I was leaving the League- my thoughts in doing so were that maybe someone might call and I could talk this through with them. Instead, I received an automated message saying my request was approved, but I needed to pay my dues, never once asking if I was okay. The receiver of my request still doesn't know why I left, whether I was ill or some tragedy had occurred, and quite frankly, it doesn't seem like they care.

Maybe the concept of Junior League didn't resonate well in the Northeast, or maybe they really think The Help is an accurate portrayal of what the League is today. Regardless, here's my message to NYJL:

Don't hold your breath for that money. In the words of Abeline "I is kind. I is beautiful. I is important." And on that note, I'll take that $480 and will build a better community with it....on my own.