Boring Island

I’ve often said that I live part of my life in costume. Some of my best memories are dressed in costume, and I find myself always making solid plans to attend any event that requires a little dress up. With that being said…Halloween (aside from St. Patrick’s Day) is my favorite holiday.

Every morning I wake up to dozens of daily deals. Anything from Groupon to Living Social to Bloomspot to Life booker to Google Deals—literally, I think I’m signed up to at least a dozen clothing deal sites in addition to these. A couple weeks ago an alert came through that immediately caught my eye: Coney Island Horror Nights. A trip to the home of the Coney Dog has been on my bucket list, so there was no way I was going to pass up this opportunity to not only go ride rides on the boardwalk, but go on a Halloween-themed night.

Following our weekly kickball game last Sunday, my friend, K, and I headed East on the D train and exited on the last stop at Coney Island. Of course I envisioned a Jersey Shore scene-- guidos, t-shirt shops, funnel cakes, hot dog stands and a working ferris wheel—and how disappointed was I to find an eerily quiet town where the two bars in the town close at 7:30. In fact, I was waiting for the mafia to pull up beside us on the sidewalk and kidnap us to never be seen again!

Despite our fears, we ventured into the theme park, where the only relation to a boardwalk was the location of its entrance. The park was isolated from the rest of the boardwalk, as well as a sister park with what appeared to host the only good rides. Nonetheless, we decided to make the most of our journey, so we hopped on the first ride we came to (called “The Tickler.” Yea—terrible name) and from there we rode nearly all of the 10 rides that were actually operating (the ferris wheel was not).

We also walked through two haunted mazes, which actually were pretty scary. We were grabbed by different masked characters and chased with chainsaws. For some reason, I constantly kept having scenes from Criminal Minds play in my mind, and I was sure if I was going to die early, this was going to be how—in a haunted maze with a masked killer, armed with electric tools.

After our fill of rides, I was looking forward to a Coney Dog and funnel cake, but they didn’t even have any stands that offered this! I was SO disappointed! While our evening adventure was fun, I would not recommend anyone spending the time or money to venture there. I think the glory days of the Island ended after its mention in “Five People you Meet in Heaven,” considering most people would rather end up in heaven then to have to endure the bore of the theme park.

In the interim, I’ll look forward to sharing a post following the upcoming Halloween parties I’m set to attend on Saturday. My costume is sewn and ready-to-wear. Stay tuned to see what it is!